Matt's Top 5... Ways to Kill a Spotted Lanternfly

  1. They are very evasive with great reaction time. They spring away quickly. Climb to the highest point possible, like the roof of your house. Jump off and crush them.

  2. Find the tree they’re breeding and feeding on. It is also an invasive species of plant. Douse the base of the tree with a massive amount of gasoline and set ablaze. This will force them to spring off the tree where you can repeatedly crush them by jumping off your roof.

  3. Call a local exterminator. He can use a pesticide treatment on them while he jumps off your roof.

  4. Dress in a Lanternfly body suit. Ascend to thy highest point possible. The other lanterflys will conjure around you. Make sure to have a giant butterfly net. Use it to net the lanternflys while you jump off your roof.

  5. You’ll never get rid of them anyway. Life is useless. Climb to a high point and jump off.

** Disclaimer: Follow at your own risk.

Matt's Top 5Frankie Val7 Comments